Worth

I actually skipped my medicine a couple times this week. I was feeling pretty good so I guess I forgot. I thought I was doing pretty well… But you know how one thought gets in your head and then it throws you back into your hole? I was invited out but I avoided it because […]

Defeat

I cried for three days and then something snapped. I woke up and I was back to feeling nothing, of course, besides mental pain. It felt like the sun had just started to peak out, but then the storms came in before I was able to even enjoy the warmth. That’s when I thought, if […]

Hate

Hate is nothing new to me especially when it comes to hating myself. Everyone has their moments when they dislike themselves for some reason, but with depression it’s there all the time. It’s like the tide. Sometimes it’s low, in the back of your mind and sometimes it’s high, at the forefront of your mind […]

Treading Water

I’m treading murky water and I’ve been here for a while with weights tied to my legs. The thing is I was never very good at swimming and my legs are getting tired.

I love how people can ruin your life and then go about like nothing ever happened. It’s ok. It’s not like I was just starting to feel a little better or anything. I’m just starting to feel again and this is the first thing I feel? When am I supposed to want to live again?

Reasons

I found another journal entry from about 6 months ago. Here it is, unedited: “How’s your depression thing going?” Oh you know. Every day I wish I were dead. “Fine.” I don’t think anyone knows how truly horrible this is and if you told them they’d wish you hadn’t. Who do you talk to about […]