He’s been dead for over a week now. That crazy week and the service is finally over and I haven’t shed ample tears. Yes, I’ve cried, but every time I cried I used my numbness to reel it back in so I could be there for my family or because it wasn’t the time. I’m afraid that maybe because I used my numbness I brought it back worse. I haven’t really been very happy lately either. I felt better after adjusting my meds but now I feel shitty. I assume it’s because of the situation but what if I pushed myself back and it’s worse again? Will there be enough pills to make me feel close to normal?