I am not normally a sensitive person. I cry at funerals or maybe if I get angry, but not very often… Until depression came around. That’s when I was sure something was wrong. I was crying all the time for no good reason. I felt sensitive and vulnerable to things that would never bother me before. Before if people cancelled plans on me it was no big deal, that’s life. Now? Now every time a plan changes or someone seems to talk to me a little less or smile a little less it hurts. Now I wonder if they really actually like me or just put up with me.
I’ve cried enough times already in my new relationship just because he has done something sweet for me. I’m not used to being treated the best in a romantic way so even his kind gestures make me cry. Being a person that is not used to expressing emotions outwardly makes all of this extra hard.
Every time someone acts a little different or maybe doesn’t ask to hang out that day it affects how I feel about myself, which it shouldn’t. It makes me feel needy, like I depend on other people to feel like I’m worth something. I shouldn’t need someone else to be happy, but sometimes that’s how it feels. So just know that I’m not normally paranoid and sensitive. It has just made me this way and I’m trying to tell it to go away.